I'm Nicola, another author on the blog and volunteer in the Baby Loss Awareness group, founded by Jade. I joined as a volunteer as instead of tirelessly googling for answers after my loss, I wanted to put my energy behind something very positive and hopefully reach out to women (and men) who needed or need help, should they find themselves in similar situations.
In the very early days, before any of our channels were live, Jade and I wanted to find out more about people in our situation. What are people looking for? Are people lacking in information? How were people cared for mentally in the aftermath?
So, we put together a short survey. Below is how we did it, and what we found out.
Background
100 respondents answered eight questions on experience of the loss of a baby or infant. Questions included what type of loss, what they looked for in the days after their loss, what information was useful/lacking, what the mental care was like and what people in our positions would like to see. At the time of writing, we are planning to conduct more in-depth interviews with those who have given permission. If you would like to speak with us, I will leave details at the end of this blogpost.
What did we find out?
Most of the results were not surprising. People went looking for both facts and information. Not unusual - having suffered two losses myself and having spoken to countless others who have sadly suffered the same, we look for answers and comfort. We want to know why and we want reassurance.
72 people went on to further comment on what they believed was lacking. Responses were very varied however a common answer was regarding molar pregnancies, which is something that our very own Jade sadly has experience with and, as a result, will be working on this. For those who suffered a molar pregnancy, they simply said that they could not find the information they wanted to about it; one woman even said that the medical staff where she was treated knew little about it. Another woman called for more awareness of molar.
Another, somewhat alarming, common response was that mental health and support was lacking. In fact, the majority of people found that they received no mental care, or the mental care that they did receive was lacking.
Losing a baby is one of the most traumatic things a woman can go through. I was sadly one of those who did not receive adequate mental care after both my miscarriages. I thought that I was just unlucky, but I was so sad to learn that it was true of others. I am lucky enough to be able to pay for private sessions with a psychologist but that's not the case for a lot of women. For those that reported receiving good mental care, this tended to be midwives who gave that much needed human touch. Out of those who commented further on this, a common response was "was offered none".
Due to my own experiences, I feel very strongly about strengthening the connection between physical and mental health; I hope that this blog and our YouTube channel can help with this. I will also be providing my own full story at a later date too.
The findings of the full report will be available soon to download as a pdf. Remember to subscribe for email updates, and like us on Facebook and Twitter (see right hand side) - we'd love for you to stay in touch! :)
If you are have not taken the survey and would like to share your story or if you simply want to speak with us further, you can request to join our private Facebook group of volunteers. We'd love to hear from you.
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